Lenten Learnings - “How often should I forgive?”

Lenten Learnings is a weekly reflection from a member of the leadership team at the Abbey on Lovers Lane.

The scripture today is for Tuesday of the Third Week in Lent, Matthew 18:21-35.

Our guest writer is Brian Morris, a founding member of the Abbey Council.

These verses pack a lot. There is a don’t be a hypocrite message, an echo of the Lord’s Prayer (forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us) and even a sprinkling of the Golden Rule (do unto others as you would have them do unto you). However, the overriding message is about mercy and forgiveness. God expects us to forgive and show mercy to others just as he forgives and bestows mercy upon each of us. Forgiving others is part of our own forgiveness.

 Peter asks Jesus how many times should he forgive, and Peter suggests that forgiving up to seven times is sufficient. Peter was probably confident that he was in the ballpark and may have even exceeded the requisite minimum. I am sure Peter was surprised when Jesus tells him the actual number is up to 490 (7 x 70). That sounds like a lot, but as the parable brings home, 490 pales in comparison to the magnitude of God’s forgiveness of us.

God is the king in the parable. The servant cannot pay a 10,000 talent debt owed to the king.

The servant, on the verge of being sold together with his wife, children and all he has in order to pay his debt, asks for the king’s forgiveness. The king not only shows compassion and mercy by releasing the servant and his family, the king forgives the entire 10,000 talent debt.

Later, the servant seeks out a fellow servant who owes him 100 denarii and demands immediate payment. When the fellow servant asks that the servant with the short memory be patient, he has the fellow servant thrown in prison. The servant asked for and was given forgiveness from the king, but refused to bestow forgiveness on another.

A denarii was the equivalent of a day’s wage. The servant was owed 100 days of wages by his fellow servant. There appears to be some uncertainty about the value of a talent. I read that a Hebrew talent was worth 6,000 denarii and also read that a single talent was worth 10-20 years of wages. Assuming that a talent was worth only 4,000 denarii, the servant owed the king the cash equivalent of 40,000,000 days of work. I get Jesus’ point that the debt forgiven by the king was huge, but you have to wonder how the debt grew to be so large and what did the servant do with all of those talents?

In any event, the forgiveness and mercy God gives to each of us for all of our sins all day and every day is massive. His expectation is that we in turn forgive those who hurt, offend or otherwise wrong us.

Forgiving is hard. It is especially hard when the perceived wrongdoer has not apologized or asked for our forgiveness. However, forgiving someone and letting go of the associated anger and resentment towards that person is also freeing.

I think I often cause myself substantially more harm, hurt and problems by hanging on to anger and resentment than the harm, hurt and problems initially caused by the perceived wrong.

Forgiving others brings us closer to God and is itself a gift from God.